Like a palmprint on my brain.

Hello, again.

Just another meandering collection of mind-detritus.

Firstly, the title. I've had a headache for four days solid. The dizzy spells have passed, but it still feels like a hand has been pressed against my forehead, above my eyes, and the fingers are stretching back into the meat of my brain in distinct channels.

I'm past cranky, skirting cantankerous and approaching churlish.

It's not that it's particularly bad. And it's slightly better than it was, since it's more diffuse. It's more that it has been four days with no reprieve.

My casual joking about brain tumors seems to bother people a little. It's not that I want to die, I just don't really see it as such a terrible thing. Sure, there's nothing afterward for me; I just work really well with a deadline.

But I guess it is kind of distasteful.

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About a month ago I spilled a brown sugar and butter sauce that I had boiling on the barbecue (for sweet potatoes) on my foot. I raised some lovely blisters but didn't fuse my sock to my skin or anything. And really, after the first 12 hours there wasn't any pain. It's just been a matter of keeping it protected.

This morning I noticed that the blistered skin is starting to dry out and there is new skin underneath it.

I'm hesitant to help it slough off because I'm just so used to the purple mark on the top of my foot.

I don't know why, but I've grown... not fond of it... but it's familiar now.

Maybe it will scar and I'll get to keep it.

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Lucky:

About a week after the butter-and-brown-sugar incident I was taking my car to get the exhaust system fixed. I don't drive a great deal. I walk to work, but the grocery store close enough to walk to is too expensive to shop at all the time, and most of my family is spread out around the province - so I'll run my car while I can afford to.

On the way there, my brakes started to fail out on me.

I had just enough juice left to stop the car in the garage's parking lot.

He told me later that I was lucky not to have needed to go any farther because the next time I tried to stop I probably wouldn't have.

So it was lucky, but still expensive.

I'll be eating ramen for awhile.

Lucky I like ramen.

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To go along with that week, I also managed to catch a cold or the flu or something. I'm always sick, since my immune system has always been pretty shit, but especially in the last two years since I had mono.

It kicked my ass pretty hard, and mostly on the day that I had to leave my apartment because it was being sprayed for bedbugs. I know, it's gross, but they're not a filth-seeking insect, they're just hematophages. Either way it was a fairly minor case and the experts are pretty sure it's taken care of but it was really disruptive. Luckily I had help for the work that needed to be done to prepare for it.

I went to the movies and sat by myself with a pocket full of snotty tissues.

Between the boils on my foot, the intense sickness, the insects... It was starting to feel pretty Biblical.

Had I forgotten to let someone's people go?

If I were religious, I'd be freeing the shit out of everything.

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I don't think my headache has anything to do with listening to Gallows a lot lately. I'm ignoring the fact that I'm probably too old to really be into angry punk anymore. And that I'm more firmly entrenched in the establishment than most punk ideology would permit. But Grey Britain is an exceptional album.

I've also been listening to Beirut. It makes me walk slower and chills me out. It's a little hard not to want to sing along in public places, but I always have that urge.

The only thing they've got in common really is that they both have rather complex arrangements that the Youtube quality doesn't really show - but that's coming from someone who only listens to music rather than plays it. And they're both good.

That's all the commonality I need, anyhow.

Now if only this headache would slip into the sea.

Why don't you just grab my heart, jump on it, cook, eat and swallow it?

As I get older I’m understanding the world a little bit more. As a child you imagine beautiful things to happen, but your parents forgot to tell you that sometimes there are nasty people called politicians who make those beautiful things ugly. Those nasty people earn a lot of money with making things ugly, and they still sleep very good at night.

In fact, honestly, they don’t give a fuck about you and me.

So let’s cut the crap.

In Belgium we’re obligated to vote, oh yes….it’s very “democratic” here. So when we enter the election year the nasty people start to flirt with us, whisper nice things in our ears and make all these good sounding promises. A bit like the first months in a relationship when you still get a bouquet of flowers just out of the blue, as a surprise. We hear words on TV like: The VOTER will decide and the VOTER is right! (in fact … I’m waiting for the day the nasty people will pay me to vote for them!) When the votes are in the nasty people become mute and disappear into their expensive offices in Brussels for 5 years. Hell.. they get paid anyway so why would they live up to the promises they’ve whispered so nicely in our ears?

Baaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

(Another person turned into a sheep)

The nasty people had a great idea 10 years ago. Someone woke up with the idea to put my city on the international map (HAHA, seriously, my country is like a midget), and he thought…why not built a huge incredible bridge to solve the traffic jams? He (I think it was probably a guy) didn’t really feel like to communicate this to the citizens. 10 years go by and because of some group of individuals, the plans and numbers are thrown into the media. So we have a big crisis going on now….The bridge will be built in an area with a lot of social housing, next to a school, a park will have to go, it’s close to the city center and studies have proved that it would be very unhealthy to have this bridge so close to living areas. They are very clever tho….while the Nazis were hiding the gas chambers, these nasty people just put a gas chamber masked into a bridge above the city, while they have the option to put the whole bridge in the ground as a tunnel, which also costs less.

65.000 signatures

Enough to hold a referendum the 18^th of October. And I do hope that my colleague citizens will vote NO, but after 33 years on this planet I’m also aware that the majority of people are idiots who swallow everything seen and heard in the media, and …..that they trust the nasty people, because after all…a politician doesn’t lie! No of course not….They also live in suburbia world with a big house and a nice green garden…far away from the place the bridge will come. And honestly…why would they care about the people who were placed by social housing and who will wake up in a room with a view…on the bridge. Poor people have done it to themselves, no?

Don’t complain, at least we have a good social system!

I get this comment a lot, it’s like saying….the police is always right because they are the police. A politician gets way too much money for their job, and I feel like I have the right to complain hence the fact we do have a good social system. Everything can always become better. Then they call you an “idealist” like if it’s an insult. I’d rather be an insult than a politician who behaves like a stubborn child, just because the BRIDGE has to be built, because they promised some other nasty people big jobs and whatnot.

And since I’m in the mood now..

Kris Peeters can suck my huge cock.

Who is this guy? He’s been called the “George Clooney” of Flanders (we do have an ego problem here) and no he doesn’t look like this yummy actor, at least if he did I would have something nice to watch while calling him a fascist. This guy is my minister president of the Flemish government (the north of Belgium), he’s in a nationalist party. I saw him on TV last week visiting a nationalist rally, listening to a speech of another fascist saying that the only legitimate gov. in Belgium is the Flemish one. Probably the majority of people here didn’t watch this on TV since it was a small item on the news. I was shocked watching this, but in my nationalist region it’s been called “normal”. Oh...he's also a guy very much involved in the file about the bridge!

Flemish Sieg Heil!

I have no problem talking other languages. In fact…my last relationships have all been in other languages, and I think it’s great. Since the nationalists rule here, they’ve been putting a big emphasis on the language Flemish. We call ourselves Flemish instead of Belgians. And the Flemish find that they should not give money anymore to our Southern citizens called Walloons and to the Federal Government. In fact the nasty people are dreaming of the Republic of Flanders. Doesn’t that sound like the ultimate paradise? Flemish beer, Flemish waffles, Flemish chocolate, Flemish fries, Flemish couples with Flemish kids…....If it comes to this I will have to marry my French boyfriend and change my nationality (with pleasure!).

It’s all a big joke. And all these nasty people sleep very well at night, they look at us and they laugh, and when they look at their bank account they laugh even harder. The life of a sheep must be a paradise filled with beautiful things, strolling in the green grass, watching a butterfly on a flower while saying BAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Signed by your dearest world citizen.

Info:

Ademloos
Flanders Today